I needed him to think I was fast asleep by the time he came to bed. I quickly got into the bathroom and had a quick shower before climbing into bed… I made sure I put on my long pyjamas so there was no way he could have easy access to my body. About an hour later when I heard him climb into bed and turn the other way, I finally let out the breath I was holding.

I managed to escape the sex tonight… By the time I woke up the next morning, I knew we were going to have another round of noise and fight and I quickly said a silent prayer to God for strength.
I could feel his hand roaming around my body relentlessly and there was no doubt in my mind what the expected end result to be.

I opened my eyes and took a glimpse at the clock on the wall. It was just 6.am. I turned and removed his hands from my body and tried to get up only to be pulled back. By the third time of going through the same motion, he finally spoke up…
”Babe, what is the excuse today? It has been 2 weeks for Christ sake. How am I supposed to be happy if you won’t even have sex with me?” He said with obvious frustration in his voice…

I was so angry at that statement and I flared up,
”Seriously Kenny, are you kidding me right now? What happened to self-control?
This just shows how far you have fallen from the faith. Is this not the same you that used to fast with me all the time before we got married? So all that spirituality was a lie?

”You know what, I won’t waste my time having this fruitless conversation with you. I am warning you for the last time. I wont take this your fasting bullshit and you will learn to respect me in this house. If this is the rubbish they are teaching you in church, I will ban you from going there…”
“You won’t dare Kehinde Ayorinde. You will not dare. If I ever have to choose between you and my God, trust me, you will loose. It is God first and you second. That devil that is trying to use you, will not find a place…’
“Try me, Lola, just try me” he said as he walked into the bathroom and slammed the door…

I walked out of the room and went into the kitchen heartbroken. As I went about making Kenny’s lunch that he usually takes to work I was so sad. I didn’t understand Kenny’s bitterness towards my relationship with God. I didn’t expect to have these kinds of issues just 6 months after marriage.
He knew how much I loved God and how much that relationship means to me and he was proving so difficult. We even talked about this while we were courting and he used to tell me how much he loved my passion for God.
We have tried getting pregnant for the past 5 months and nothing has happened and I knew I needed to tackle it in prayer before 5 months turned to 15 years and I told him I decided to join the 100 days fast i the church. Initially, he had agreed to join me but 3 days after he stopped….

I didn’t get offended. I decided to do the prayers myself, I just did not expect him to be so bitter about it. As I finished packing his lunch about 30 minutes later, Kenny came out fully dressed and just walked past me without picking up his food as usual. I quickly ran after him and caught up with him just as he was getting into his car…

”You didn’t take your food” I said.
”Take that rubbish food and get out of my sight. I don’t want your food, now or ever until you learn to respect me and until you decide what is more important to you” he said and slammed the door, driving away while I stood there mouth agape…
We had a lot of disagreements over sex in the last two weeks but I had never seen Kenny so bitter before. I knew there and then I needed to pray for my home. Casting out every demon that suddenly possessed my husband.

Towards the end of my prayer, I suddenly got an inspiration from the Holy Spirit on what to do next.
There was no point trying to tell Kenny he could not have sex with me, I only had to use wisdom to avoid it by doing things that will not even get him interested. So I decided not to have my bath the whole of that day.
I knew how much Kenny liked me bathing and all clean. By the time he got home around 7:00pm that day, I made sure dinner was ready. I could not have been more wrong because another argument ensued as soon as he came in through the door.

”Madam, have you sorted out your issues yet?” he said.
”What issues Kenny? Please come and have your dinner”.
”Did you think I was joking? Did you think not taking your bath will work on me? Or you did you think I will not know you enough to know that not taking your bath is a tactic to avoid sex?”
I was quite shocked and kind of speechless that he immediately realised what my plan was.
”Kenny, please be understanding. I need to consecrate myself to God”. I resorted to begging instead.
”Lola, get it straight, I am not asking you not to fast. What is wrong with having sex between 6:00pm that you break your fast and midnight that the next day starts? That is all I am asking” he tried to negotiate.

This was probably God’s way of creating a solution for me. I went on my knees that night and sang in gratitude to God for making a way for me where I thought there was none.
By day 60 of my fasting and prayer, I was officially frustrated. The joy and excitement I got from fasting and prayer had gone. Kenny and I had become total strangers in the house. He had not eaten my food in over 6 weeks and I was officially worried. He had started coming home quite late and we did not even talk anymore. Every time I tried to talk to him, he just shut me out.

We both went to work and came back and went into separate rooms. I did not even know where to start from. I knew for a fact I had not done anything wrong and was just doing the best for our marriage and I wondered constantly why Kenny was so blinded by unreasonable rage. I wondered where all the promises of not going to bed in anger went. I finally reached the end of my rope that week when I got a text from him around 8:00pm saying,

”Don’t wait up for me. I won’t be coming home tonight”.
I could not believe my eyes and I immediately sent him a text saying,
” Where are you? Why won’t you come home?”
His reply made me burst into tears. ” Please ask the holy spirit to reveal it to you in prayer”
My marriage is in trouble.

I decided it was time to seek counsel from my pastor’s wife. As I sat down with Mummy as we normally call her that evening after a word of prayer and recounted the full story of our challenges from the beginning of the fasting period. I was quite hopeful that I will get solutions on the next step to take.
Mummy looked at me and shook her head as I showed her the last text I got from Kenny from my phone.
”Sister Lola, what does the Bible say about our parents and honour?”
”Honour your father and mother, that your days might be long” I quickly replied wondering why we were talking about my parents when it was my marriage that needed healing.

”Do you remember when you came to me and decided you wanted to marry this young man who was barely a baby in the Lord. I warnedyou to look for giants in the spirit. If you had honoured my words, surely the days of your marriage would have been long”, she said with obvious annoyance.
”I am sorry mummy, I love my husband and I think he loves God too”
”He loves God? You are still defending his actions? A man that cannot agree with you in prayer? That will not deny his body to feed his spirit? She asked me.
”I am sorry ma” I quickly said. Mummy was known for her short temper and I did not want to get on her bad side.

”Anyway the deed has been done. We need to find a way forward. You see the devil is not resting. He is obviously seeking to devour your marriage. Remember the scripture in Ephesians 6: 12 says, we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers and against the rulers of the darkness of this world.
The battle is not with your husband. It is a fight in the spirit”.
”Okay ma” I said.
”The devil knows this fast is going to liberate your marriage and he wants to stop it at all cost. The flesh will be satisfied eventually but you need to be spiritually fortified first. So make sure you complete it in total consecration to God”.
”Okay ma, what do I now do about his refusal to come home ma?”
”Oh don’t worry Lola, he will come home. He is like the prodigal son, he will surely return. Let us pray my dear”.

By the time I left my pastor’s house after about two hours of prayer. I felt stronger and better. Kenny was just over reacting and I was definitely on the right course. I just needed to keep praying and not let me faith be shaken. When I got and met Kenny relaxing in the sitting room, it confirmed to me that everything mummy said was correct since he returned like she had prophesied.

As the days passed things got more estranged. Kenny stopped going to our church and demanded I move to this new church he found. Of course I vehemently refused. It is important to be grounded and not church belly-hopping. I got daily text motivations from my mummy in the lord and that just encouraged me.

Finally the last day of the 100 days came and it was announced in church that couples should endeavour to attend together since there was going to be an all-night prayer. I begged and pleaded with Kenny but he adamantly refused. I went to church alone that night and prayed every prayer possible.
My joy knew no bounds the next morning because I knew that all the fight I had been having with Kenny was finally going to be over. I was going to make sure we had as much sex as he wanted that night…..

I began to think I probably should have compromised during the 100 days. I did not expect him to take it this far. I did not even know what plausible solution I could execute. I knew sex was a big deal to men but it was always painful for me anyway so I was never all excited about it.
On our wedding night, when Kenny deflowered me, I thought I was only going to feel the pain for less than a week but it has been six months and every single intimacy we have had was laced with very uncomfortable pain. Chauvinist as Kenny was, he felt I was just making a mountain out of a molehill and sex could not be as painful as I was making it to be. The truth was if not for the sake of procreation I was comfortable not having sex ever. The hype is definitely more than the experience.

I finally decided that maybe some physical solution was needed since the spiritual was not solving Kenny and It’s a problem. I went to Google that afternoon as I got home from work and searched ” how to stop painful sex”.
As soon as I finished reading of different positions to do to ease the pain and how the pain was coming from my mind. I made a few decisions on making sure sex became enjoyable.

Next, I Googled, ”how to seduce your husband and I felt so uncomfortable with the sheer number of unholy things I discovered. I decided to take a bold step and put some things I found to practice to ensure Kenny finally stayed home for the night.
As alien as it felt, I typed some steamy texts I found online to Kenny at one-hour interval each,
”I am burning with desire for you honey”
When I did not get any response an hour later, I sent another one I found online, ”I can’t focus, all I can think about is what you will do to me if you were here with me”
Still no response, I sent this 30 minutes later,
”You taught me how to make love, tonight I will show you how much I have leared”
I got a response after this saying, ”Please I am in a meeting with the board”
I was so happy I literally jumped up from my seat. This was the only statement Kenny had sent to me in a week and I decided to send more.
”Just thinking about you inside of me…”
He responded immediately,
”Stop this rubbish Omolola”
I decided I had had enough of Google and composed one text message of my own.
”Please come home and stay tonight. I accept I was wrong. I want to make it right and make it up to you. Please give me a chance, I love you baby”.
He responded simply with, ”Okay”.

I was so happy and I quickly jumped up from the couch and drove to the supermarket. I bought a new matching lingerie, a foot massage kit and also full body massage oil. I had read on Google that massaging the foot and body could do wonders in pointing in the right direction. I also bought a lubricator. Google had taught me so much.
I immediately rushed home after and prepared fried rice with plantain and peppered chicken for Kenny. By 8pm, I was finally done and ready for him to walk in. I sat on the sofa in my lingerie and the table was already set. I tried calling Kenny but his phone was off so I waited.

I must have slept off on the sofa because the sound of the door being opened woke me up the next morning at about 7am. Kenny never showed up last night. He walked in and paused for a minute staring at me before walking past as usual to the guest room. I sat down in frustration and cried so hard. I was still crying when he closed the door.

I decided to amend my way and try begging again.i bought flowers and cooked his favorite luckily he came home.
He ignored me after begging him to eat my food he finally gave in to my plea
He ate in silence
I tried to talk words flee from my mouth.

I knew he love me. i saw the fire in his eyes just like when we first met He looked at me and carried me into the room.. We made love all through the night till morning.
Its been 6years now and the incident is still fresh.. I laugh out so loud that Kenny junior asked me mom are you alright
I just looked at him and smile saying to my self am happy you are here baby and I am happy
I made the right decision
I love my family.. please state ur advice to all church wives